it’s growing pains…
I’m learning to realize that life doesn’t wait for anyone. It just happens. I used to think that the world was full of good but as I grow older, I’ve come to find out that is far from the truth. It’s hard to put faith in people nowadays. It’s hard to place faith in friendships, relationships, and sometimes, yes, even God. I look around and the world looks dimmer and dimmer and the candle that used to burn bright with hope is slowly fading, its glow getting weaker and weaker. Other than bidding my dog farewell this summer, I think I lost some friendships as well through distance and lots of time in between. I look around and I find that a lot has changed while I am standing still. Life doesn’t wait. It just happens. And boy, does it suck. It’s almost as if I’m forced to grow up and deal with life. But how can I deal with something that is so unremorseful?
I thought that I cherished friendships, but in the past I have been guilty of cherishing some more than others through my ignorance and naivety. However, now I know better. I’ve learned that it is through one’s actions that speak volumes. Not their words. This also makes me more mindful about my words and actions. I used to believe people’s words, but no more. This almost forces me to trust people a lot less than I even started with. I used to be called innocent and naïve for being too trustworthy, for seeing the silver lining in every rain cloud. And now? Well, now people call me bitter and cynical. I’m learning that I can’t please everyone. Maybe that is the problem and I need to stop caring what other people think, including myself.
Life doesn’t wait. People won’t wait. Just as life happens for you, life happens for them as well. People change, their priorities change and not everyone wants to do the same things they did when they were younger. That’s what I thought until today. Today was nice. In an attempt to help my dad get out of the house and minimize the void left in our hearts from our dog’s death, I decided to take him out to watch a movie. As the day went on, God reminded me that there are still some people who haven’t changed and they still want to do the same things we used to, whether it be climbing the man-made mountains in Central Park or sitting on the floor of Barnes & Noble, perusing through some books. It was nice to know that although we go through changes individually and together, there are some things that remain the same no matter what. Thanks dad. Isn’t it funny how I try to make you feel better and at the end you’re the one making sure my candle doesn’t burn out…
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